Good news, it's not this blog. I'm just juggling too many things, actually too many blog's. I'm addicted to Facebook and I've been using it to work on our adoption. I also Myspace, about once a year, and I just joined Twitter, but I have no idea how to use that thing. (feel free to add me as your friend on any of those!)
I love to digital scrapbook and occasionally I design stuff. My husband thought it was a great idea for making money, selling my designs online. Yeah, hasn't worked so I give up! Anyway's, I might occasionally add something new. If anyone wants anything done- blog backgrounds, headers, or anything just ask!
My other blogs-
Digital Designs
My Photography Business
Infertility Group
Our Adoption Blog
My book (fictional) about Abuse! (it's a private blog, but just e-mail me and ask to join!)
ASCA
Saturday, November 28, 2009
How To: What to Do If Your Child Was Abused
What to Do If Your Child Was Abused
If your child tells you that he or she has been touched inappropriately, it is important to stay calm. Your reaction may scare them or increase their feelings of guilt. Both emotions could discourage them from talking about the abuse openly. Be sensitive to their needs and applaud them for having the courage to tell you what happened. Be a source of support and assure them you will take care of things.
Next, immediately cease all contact your child has with their offender.
Then, take action! Call your local police department or child abuse hotline and report the abuse. By failing to notify the authorities you may unwittingly lead to the abuse of other children. Do not try to handle the situation yourself. It is crucial to your child that you report abuse and pursue prosecution. Taking the necessary steps to get the abuser off the streets provides children with a sense of security, as well as the opportunity to get justice.
In order to avoid confusion, anxiety or guilt, children should never overhear conversations about their disclosure. Likewise, you should seek support and comfort for yourself where your child can't see or hear what you say.
The prognosis for healing after being molested is better for children who are supported and believed when they disclose. Listen to your kids, and pay attention to their behavior.
Related Resources
Family Watchdog
www.familywatchdog.us
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
www.missingkids.com
The Polly Klaas Foundation
www.pollyklaas.org
The Jessica Marie Lunsford Foundation
www.jmlfoundation.com
Amber Alert
www.amberalert.gov
If your child tells you that he or she has been touched inappropriately, it is important to stay calm. Your reaction may scare them or increase their feelings of guilt. Both emotions could discourage them from talking about the abuse openly. Be sensitive to their needs and applaud them for having the courage to tell you what happened. Be a source of support and assure them you will take care of things.
Next, immediately cease all contact your child has with their offender.
Then, take action! Call your local police department or child abuse hotline and report the abuse. By failing to notify the authorities you may unwittingly lead to the abuse of other children. Do not try to handle the situation yourself. It is crucial to your child that you report abuse and pursue prosecution. Taking the necessary steps to get the abuser off the streets provides children with a sense of security, as well as the opportunity to get justice.
In order to avoid confusion, anxiety or guilt, children should never overhear conversations about their disclosure. Likewise, you should seek support and comfort for yourself where your child can't see or hear what you say.
The prognosis for healing after being molested is better for children who are supported and believed when they disclose. Listen to your kids, and pay attention to their behavior.
Related Resources
Family Watchdog
www.familywatchdog.us
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
www.missingkids.com
The Polly Klaas Foundation
www.pollyklaas.org
The Jessica Marie Lunsford Foundation
www.jmlfoundation.com
Amber Alert
www.amberalert.gov
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Therapeutic Thursday: Drama Triangle
(http://www.therapyideas.net/triangles.htm)
More on the drama triangle-
Playing in this drama triangle ultimately leads to a very boring life. Over and over again the game is repeated, and there are never any solutions. Nobody grows as all the players are very stuck in the cycle of repeating their tired lines, all for drama.
More on the drama triangle-
Playing in this drama triangle ultimately leads to a very boring life. Over and over again the game is repeated, and there are never any solutions. Nobody grows as all the players are very stuck in the cycle of repeating their tired lines, all for drama.
Choices, choices, choices.
Honesty: Say what you mean, mean what you say. There is greater soul in honestly facing painful situations. Look fearlessly within. The people you love the most are the ones to risk more honesty with.
Respect for Self & Others: Balance both. Take Responsibility. Learn boundaries. Have empathy and self-protection. Do not be either too self effacing or too narcissistic.
Make Agreements That Work: Negotiation/middle ground leads to possibilities. More able to handle complexity. There has to be room for both people's wants and agendas. Solve problems together.
Movies that Illustrate VRP
Notes on a Scandal
Books:
Learn about the game in management:
Power with People by Greg Lester Ph.D.
The game is defined in the 70's classic:
What Do You Say After You Say Hello by Eric Berne
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
JA update-
To be honest I'm still in a little shock. Shocked that I told her, shocked at her response and still waiting from an e-mail of it all backfiring! My sweet friend told me, You know that e-mail isn't coming? Yes, I do know but I still can't believe it. I still have mixed emotions about it all. Relief hasn't set in yet. I can't help but think what possibly is going through her mind. Man, I really wish I knew.
I've decided to leave my contact with her at that. I get the vibe that she needs some time and space to digest it all. I'm open to more contact if she wants, but I don't want to be forcing myself (and the pain of what J did) into her life.
After writing that update I went and got a CD I have with info and such on it. I have a few pictures of JA on there. To be honest, I've been avoiding looking at them. I haven't looked at them in a LONG time. As I looked at her face it made me cry. I started thinking, What have I done? What did I just do to her life? I'm trying not to feel guilty about it, but looking at her is making me feel bad. However, when I see pictures of J, I just want to punch him!
I try to be so discrete on here, but I really want to post pictures of both JA and J... But then again I fear the repercussions of doing so. (a few months ago I harmlessly posted some pics of my husband family on my personal blog and they Flipped out! So I'm really hesitant about posting pictures of people)
LOL, so I was looking at what are the files I had on that CD and I'm laughing at what I found. I discovered that I wrote a letter to JA 1 1/2 years ago telling her (obviously I didn't send it and didn't intend to immediately) Wow, I can't believe I forgot that I already wrote that. Here is the letter I wrote on May 21, 2008-
"Dear Mrs.,
It has been a long time since I have seen or talk to you last.
I graduated from high school 5 years ago and have been married for 4 years now. We moved to .... a few months after we got married and we love it here. Although my husband and I haven't been able to have kids yet we have a great life and are very happy.
I don't know how to go about telling you this, but when I baby-sat J he molested me.
If you were wondering why I didn't tell you sooner, it's a long story. First of all I didn't remember anything that had happened until right after I got married. I mean, I obviously remember baby-sitting J, but I had blocked out all the details. About 6 months after I got married I decided to try counseling. After that ended only a few months later, badly, I tried to just forget about it all. It wasn't until 10 months ago that I decided to once again try counseling. Very few people even know it happened. My mom B just found out a few months ago. I think she is either in denial or she doesn't believe me.
I am not mad at you or hold you responsible in any way. I don't want or expect anything from you or J. I'm not even completely sure why, but I felt like you needed to know.
Feel free to contact me, or if you don't want to I understand."
I've decided to leave my contact with her at that. I get the vibe that she needs some time and space to digest it all. I'm open to more contact if she wants, but I don't want to be forcing myself (and the pain of what J did) into her life.
After writing that update I went and got a CD I have with info and such on it. I have a few pictures of JA on there. To be honest, I've been avoiding looking at them. I haven't looked at them in a LONG time. As I looked at her face it made me cry. I started thinking, What have I done? What did I just do to her life? I'm trying not to feel guilty about it, but looking at her is making me feel bad. However, when I see pictures of J, I just want to punch him!
I try to be so discrete on here, but I really want to post pictures of both JA and J... But then again I fear the repercussions of doing so. (a few months ago I harmlessly posted some pics of my husband family on my personal blog and they Flipped out! So I'm really hesitant about posting pictures of people)
LOL, so I was looking at what are the files I had on that CD and I'm laughing at what I found. I discovered that I wrote a letter to JA 1 1/2 years ago telling her (obviously I didn't send it and didn't intend to immediately) Wow, I can't believe I forgot that I already wrote that. Here is the letter I wrote on May 21, 2008-
"Dear Mrs.,
It has been a long time since I have seen or talk to you last.
I graduated from high school 5 years ago and have been married for 4 years now. We moved to .... a few months after we got married and we love it here. Although my husband and I haven't been able to have kids yet we have a great life and are very happy.
I don't know how to go about telling you this, but when I baby-sat J he molested me.
If you were wondering why I didn't tell you sooner, it's a long story. First of all I didn't remember anything that had happened until right after I got married. I mean, I obviously remember baby-sitting J, but I had blocked out all the details. About 6 months after I got married I decided to try counseling. After that ended only a few months later, badly, I tried to just forget about it all. It wasn't until 10 months ago that I decided to once again try counseling. Very few people even know it happened. My mom B just found out a few months ago. I think she is either in denial or she doesn't believe me.
I am not mad at you or hold you responsible in any way. I don't want or expect anything from you or J. I'm not even completely sure why, but I felt like you needed to know.
Feel free to contact me, or if you don't want to I understand."
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